em·pow·er To give power or authority to, to enable or permit.
When I was in prison, one of the worst things somebody could do is call you a ‘punk’. That was pretty much immediate grounds for a fight. The same thing happened when somebody said something about your mother. I saw it happen over and over. I never bought into that kind of thinking. Was I a coward? No, actually it was harder and took more courage NOT to buy into it. After a couple of times of that happening, people kinda looked at me a little differently. Maybe not with ‘awe’, but at least with some respect, and usually at a distance. You see, by not buying into that whole belief, I took away the power that the other person was trying to gain. Once or twice, I even said: “You know what I think about your opinion?” And before they could answer, I’d turn and walk away. I wasn’t going to a give them the power over me, to dictate how I was going to act, based on how they felt, or what they said. The reason I bring this is, is it amounts to this: Peer pressure. I was faced with it there, just like you’re faced with it daily. In school as well as out of school. What other people think of you, matters to you. To say otherwise would be a lie. And that’s okay. We form friendships and groups of friends based on what we think of others and how they look at us. It becomes a problem however, when you let what they think of you change who you are, or it impact the decision making you might have regarding important things. Do you stand up for the things you believe in, or are you likely to be swayed because to make a stand would be to stand out? Let me tell you something: sometime standing out isn’t that bad. Take for example, a group of a dozen kids who all look alike, dress similar and act the same way. They all go apply for a job. Let’s say just one of them has some individuality to be different. And I’m not saying you have to be a nerd, or a geek, just enough backbone to say: ‘I don’t have to be a clone’. Now, who do you think is going to stand out and be remembered when it comes time to choose an employee? Are you a follower, or a leader? Again, I’m not saying you have to be so different that you stand out so much that people stare and point at you when you walk down the street. But if you believe in something, don’t be afraid to stand up for it. You’re an individual; there’s no reason you shouldn’t let it show through. You don’t have to be 100% different than those around you, but you don’t have to be an identical twin with everybody you hang with either. Don’t let others make decisions for you. Don’t empower them, for when you do, you’re giving up a part of yourself. You’re giving in and letting somebody else make choices for you, and not always the best choices, either. Feel differently about something? Talk with your friends about it. There’s a possibility they may share your feelings as well, and were just waiting for someone else speak up and validate how they felt. Think about it.
Written by Author and Speaker, Scott Free
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